The Happiest Place on Earth
by AvengersIsMyLife
Summary: It's been a long time since any of them have had a break, so Tony plans a trip to Disneyland for a team 'vacation', which can only mean trouble. Just a story about the craziness that will ensue when six adult superheros decide to take a trip to the happiest place on Earth. Teamfic.
1. We need a Vacation!

**Yes I have decided to start another story. This first chapter has been sitting around on my computer for a while, so I decided to brush the cob webs off of it and begin writing some more. I don't think the chapters will be as long as my other story, so hopefully I'll get these chapters posted more often. **

**Enjoy!**

"Tony, why'd you call us all? I have important things to do," Bruce asked as the team settled themselves in the penthouse living room.

Tony was standing in front of the flat screen with a boyish grin lighting up his face. That was enough to make anyone scared of what he was planning.

Steve and Thor were already seated on the biggest couch and were both waiting to hear what Tony had to say, though Thor was more enthusiastic. Steve was as skeptical as Bruce. The two assassins were sitting on the second couch. Natasha leaned against the armrest with a bored expression and had her legs tucked under her. Clint leaned back folding his arms behind his head as a pillow and looked like he was about to fall asleep.

"Dearest Bruce, you should sit down like everyone else here and then we can discuss what I have to say," Tony made a gesture towards Steve and Thor's couch. Bruce really didn't see an immediate way out of it, so he reluctantly sat down between the two.

Tony clapped his hands, "Now that everyone's here, last night while I was trying to sleep, I kept thinking about how much all of us have worked recently and how messed up our lives have become. So, I started to go over the possible vacations we could take together…" he paused for some dramatic effect. The only reaction he got was an arched eyebrow from Natasha, a snoring sound from Clint, and a small intake of air from Thor, who looked like he was going to explode with what Tony was going to say next.

"What better place to enjoy the kid inside all of us than at Disneyland!" he finally exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air for exaggeration.

"No!" Natasha snapped as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

Thor looked confused and surprisingly disappointed. Clint lifted his head somewhat surprised, along with Bruce. Steve seemed to be thinking it over in his head as if actually considering it.

"What? Why not?" Tony whined as he turned to the redhead who glared at him.

"We're adults," she said, straightening herself and crossing her arms.

"But it's the happiest place on Earth!"

"There's no such thing as happiness, therefore the place is fake and just a waste of time."

"Would someone please explain to me what this Land of Disney is?" Thor butted in, his brows furrowed as he tried to figure it out.

"It's the happiest place on Earth," Tony started, but Natasha shot him down.

"No, how can it be happy when people are forced to pay ridiculous amounts of money to ride ridiculous rides and be dragged around by their bratty children and forced to deal with other pushy people? Sounds like torture to me."

"Well aren't you Little Miss Sunshine," Tony received a glare armed with daggers.

"It's the truth."

"I'm still confused," Thor glanced at the other three who had yet to say anything as Tony and Natasha continued to argue.

Thor looked at Clint first, who was trying to break up the couple who were standing up, just inches apart from each other saying cruel Midgardian terms that Thor still didn't quite get the meaning of. He then looked to the two sitting next to him.

Steve shook his head, "I know as much as you do Thor."

Bruce sighed then started to explain to the two, " It's an theme park created by a man named Walt Disney based off of the movies and characters he created. You know that movie we watched the other night, Bambi? That was one of his. Disney land is a large park in California and probably one of the most famous, especially with children. There's all sorts of rides and attractions to see, but I've never been there, so I can't really explain every detail."

Thor nodded slowly as he absorbed this and was opening his mouth to say something when there was the sound of tussling from his right.

He turned to see Clint holding Natasha's arms behind her back as she tried to attack Tony. Tony backed away with his hands up defensively.

"Tony…" Steve warned.

Clint somehow managed to get Natasha back on the couch and she started to calm herself down.

Tony looked at Steve, "It's not like I said something I don't usually say."

"She's had a bad morning Stark," Clint shot, still standing between the two in case Natasha lunged again.

"Well all the more reason to take a vacation," Tony quickly turned back into the happy self he had been when they had first sat down.

"I'm not going," Natasha huffed.

"Have you ever been there before?" Tony asked with an arch of an eyebrow.

She shot him a dark look, "I grew up in Russia trained as a super spy, do you think they'd send us all to America and actually let us have _fun_?"

Tony frowned, then looked at Clint, "Legalos?"

He shrugged, "Nope."

Tony seemed to shrink in disappointment, then turned to Bruce with desperation in his eyes, "Don't tell me none of you have ever been to Disneyland."

Bruce shook his head, "The other guy and screaming kids doesn't exactly play out well."

The billionaire seemed to shatter into a million pieces, "Everyone has to go to Disneyland at least once in their life. It's decided, we're all going, and we're all going to have one of the best vacations of our lives."

Natasha and Bruce shook their heads immediately. Clint took a moment, then sided with Natasha. Though, Thor nodded his head in agreement and Steve slowly agreed with Tony, despite a trickle of unease in his eyes.

Tony looked at the three dissentients, "I've already booked everything and its non-refundable," he pouted.

Tony knew Bruce would be easiest to convert, so he targeted him first, "You wouldn't let such an expensive and thoughtful gift go to waste would you?"

Bruce started to shake his head once more.

"Can't you let yourself have fun for once in your life?" Tony pleaded. He was determined to make sure everyone would go.

After a moment of thought Bruce sighed, "Fine."

Tony spun around. Next target: Clint Barton.

The archer crossed his arms and held his ground, but Tony could see the inner child within him screaming to say yes.

Tony smiled he knew that Natasha was holding him back, but that would change, and he'd use it to his advantage.

"You've always wanted to go haven't you?"

"No-"

"Na ah ah ah ah, don't say it. I can see it in your eyes, you've always wanted to go, but you never could as a child, and now you're an assassin who never gets time off and would look extremely strange walking around the park all by yourself."

Clint blinked and furrowed his brow as he really started to battle his inner self.

"Clint?" Natasha could not believe that her partner had even taken the time to _consider _it. He wasn't going to leave her to fend for herself was he?

Clint smiled, "I'm in."

He was.

"Barton, we're no longer partners," she pouted on the couch.

He turned back to her, face beaming with excitement. Her heart twisted a little in her chest. She hadn't seen him this happy in such a long time, ever since the Battle of New York. Who knew the thought of going to Disneyland could do that to an assassin.

"Tasha please! I'll only go if you go."

She hated him.

They stared at each other for a long time, in which the others were pretty sure they were battling over some sort of secret deal, until finally Natasha gave in.

Tony jumped up in victory, wearing a stupid looking smile on his face.

Natasha was about to wipe the stupid look off his face with a swift punch, but was instead pulled into a tight hug by Clint.

"Thanks Tasha."

"Sure," she grumbled as he let go and turned to leave. She was ashamed by her defeat and wanted nothing more than to blow off steam in the gym.

"So when is this trip Tony?" Steve asked the question everyone had forgotten about amidst the chaos.

"We start our adventure at ten tomorrow morning," he beamed.

Natasha snapped around and the other four stared at him blankly, "What?"

Tony quickly made his way quickly towards the door, "You guys better start packing, we've got a plane to catch."

Once he left, they all made a vow to kill the billionaire when they got back from the looming disaster.

**Please tell me what you think in a review and I love suggestions too. **


	2. It's Official

**Thanks for all your suggestions! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

Only one person on the whole team of six was actually happy. The other five were extremely angry, grumpy, tired, and bored. This was not a good start to vacation, though they all knew that 'vacation' was not the right word to describe it. They all knew that they couldn't truly take vacation seeing as villains could choose to attack at any time, and if they did manage to go without an attempt to conquer the world, something would go wrong within the team. Sure it had been almost a year since their first battle together, but that didn't mean they got along every second of the day. It was hard enough for even two of them to get along well (Well unless one of those people was Bruce. He tended to get along well with everyone almost 99% of the time).

Tony had already made the outcome of a fight an even bigger possibility before they had even gotten on the plane. He had woken them up at three in the morning and rushed them out the door as if they were going to miss the only available flight, when in reality, he was taking them in his private jet that departed whenever _he_ wanted it to fly. The one time he willingly got up before noon and he had to drag the rest of them into it That's why only he was in a good mood.

Now they were trying to pass the time as they sped over the country. Tony had set up Thor's i-pad to play documentaries on Disney Land, so Thor could get some idea about what they were about to see, while also saving everyone from his endless questions. Bruce was lounged in his chair reading some enormous book undoubtedly involving some sort of science. Clint had miraculously managed to fall asleep, listening to his i-pod the whole trip. Steve had alternated between reading books and watching movies on the large TV that was situated on the one side of the plane, but eventually, he just ended up staring out the window as the land rolled beneath them. Natasha found herself unable to entertain herself. She had never been as patient as Bruce or Clint, and couldn't stand doing one activity for more than half an hour. Her original plan was to make up the sleep she had missed because of waking up too early, but that was not possible for her at the moment. Then there was Tony, who had disappeared into the tail end of the plane where he was either trying to cook some 'sorry' breakfast for them, or sleeping on the bed that Natasha knew was back there. But, even though she craved a nice omelet, she had a feeling it was most likely the latter of the two.

* * *

Several long hours later, the plane finally touched ground and the Avengers were free from the cramped space.

"Surely I could have flown here faster than that," Thor commented taking a last look at the private jet.

"Well you'd have to take a lot of trips with the amount of luggage Tony brought," Bruce chuckled, grabbing his bags from them immense pile that had been unloaded from cargo. At least half of the bags, if not more, were Tony's signature red and gold.

"Hey, it's not my fault that I don't have a magical Harry Potter bag like Red over there," Tony pointed at Natasha who had magically fit all her luggage into her carry on, "You can all leave your stuff here, I'll have someone bring it to the hotel."

Steve shrugged, "Sounds great." And placed his bags back in the pile.

Clint on the other hand hugged his bow case closer. Tony noticed and stepped forwards, holding out his hands, "That reminds me, no weapons will be allowed on this trip."

Everyone stared in horror, Clint and Natasha especially.

"Tony, that's a horrible idea, what if something happens?" Steve asked, "We'll be caught off guard,"

"We're on vacation, we can't let work come with us. Besides, what're the odds that some super villain is going to attack Disneyland of all places?"

"Well, considering the amount of known villains, the frequency of attacks, and our over all bad luck…" Bruce began calculating in his head.

"Stop, we don't need to get all mathematical," Tony interrupted, "I'll keep them in a safe place where I can get Jarvis to deploy them if there is an event that requires them."

"I don't mind, I can summon Mjolnir already," Thor placed his hammer in Tony's hand, forcing Tony to the ground.

"Ouch!" Tony let go, "On second thought Point-break is the only exception."

Skeptically, Steve too dug his shield out of his luggage and handed it Tony. The billionaire flipped it around a couple times and then placed it upside down so that it was like a dish and held it out towards the two assassins.

Natasha glared and pulled a knife from a pocket on her carry on bag, tossing it into the shield. Clint did the same, but still didn't make a move to remove his bow and quiver.

"It'll be seconds away if we need it, and I'm keeping it safe with Jarvis where only I know of it," Tony tried to no avail. With a roll of his eyes he pulled out the card he knew would win the archer over, "If you don't give me the bow, then I'll call Fury and get you sent on the next mission to Timbuktu. Translation: no Mickey Mouse for Legalos."

Clint let out a long sigh and after a few silent moments of weighing his choices, he delicately handed the bow case over to Tony.

"Great," Tony exclaimed, "Now I know two assassins have more than two knives between the two of them and I really don't want to give you a full pat down to find the rest of your stash."

Natasha stared the sharpest daggers anyone on the team had ever seen, but started pulling weapons out of a variety of different places. Clint followed suit and by the time the two had finished, Cap's entire shield was full with an assortment of knives, guns, and other sharp pointy things.

The rest of the team was shocked. Of course, they knew that the two assassins usually had all sorts of hidden weapons on them at a time, but they weren't expecting to see that many.

"Mark my words Stark, if anyone so much as breaths on any of them, then you're a dead man," Natasha threatened with an ice cold tone. They all heard Tony gulp and then Natasha slung her carry-on back over her shoulder and walked towards the limo that was conveniently parked close by.

"Well then," Steve cleared his throat, as Tony began delicately placing all their weapons in corresponding cases, "I guess we can officially say we're on vacation.

**Thanks for reading, and please review. I've gotten a lot of great ideas already, and I'd love to hear some more. **


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